There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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