this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
