Whatcha textin bout Willis?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
