Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
