More tranny stories later!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
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