Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
