I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He better not be in your backpack
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
