just come out here and I will go home with you...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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