physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
