I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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