do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
