we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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