I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
