i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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