how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize