God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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