Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
