Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize