D3 body, D1 cock
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
