also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
