Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Panties = found
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
