This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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