You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
