I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize