She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
