My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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