Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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