It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize