Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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