The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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