butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize