He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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