I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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