He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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