he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
