is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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