so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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