we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize