we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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