I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
