I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
