dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
