You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
