I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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