you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
