whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize