im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
