If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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