but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
