i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
