I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
