Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
