shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
