You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can you bring me the toilet please
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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