Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
They are going to name an STD after you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
