That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
