I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just invented taco cereal.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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