Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
